Imagine the commander of the king’s army, all arrayed in his finery, a  take-charge kind of guy, a respected, responsible, successful military leader who, at the bark of his command, could send soldiers off to build a bridge, or destroy one, take a city by storm, eradicate the enemy, and risk their lives in battle. That’s power.

            A person like that wouldn’t be bothered by much. Except illness. It really wouldn’t matter what illness, either, frankly. Illness reminds us of our vulnerability. Our neediness. Our powerlessness. Some of us just don’t like to be bothered with reminders of our humanity. We find it humbling.

            It is harder, when one is sick or wounded; to maintain one’s carefully crafted pride. I have not enjoyed, as you can imagine, having to start my ministry here with a bum knee. In complaining to a friend about how humbling it has been, she pulled me up short by saying: “Just where did you think you started if being human and vulnerable is humbling?”

            The story of Naaman’s healing is at one level about humility. Leprosy was one of the most dreaded of diseases. Certainly on of the most humbling. (Please note that not everyone labeled ‘leper’ had the actual disease we call leprosy, also known as Hansen’s disease. Without the science and technology available, ‘leprosy’ was used to describe any number of skin ailments. It was, at that time, and until fairly recently, believed to be contagious, and so, for ‘public health’ reasons, lepers were excluded from most social situations.)

            The powerful Naaman was soon going to have to relinquish all power and all status to accept the consequence of his disease; he would be less than a nobody.  He was going to move from being a man without peers to an untouchable. A slave girl, and simple prophet, and an aide conspired to get him the healing he needed.  So, this is a story, at one level, about the powerful learning from the powerless.

             The other leper doesn’t have the power, the privilege, the community, or the resources of Naaman. The only thing they share at first glance is the disease. He has been humbled more than you and I can imagine. Naaman wants to purchase – no, demands—healing.

            Mark’s leper asks only to made clean. Those aren’t the same things. One could be determined ritually clean, able to attend the synagogue, without being healed. One could also be healed, but without the proper process, not be determined ritually clean.

            Do you see the difference? And, to be quite frank the leper on his knees at the feet of Jesus’ doesn’t actually dare to even ask to made ritually clean. What he says is really more a statement of fact. “If you choose, you can make me clean.” There is no ‘I language’ in that statement. What I hear is the pain of someone who has been refused over and over. Here he is, on his knees in the dirt, begging Jesus, and this position for him is a step up from his usual status. Because you see, he has dared to come so very near to someone who is ritually clean. He is closer to Jesus than he has probably been to anyone for some time.

            There is so much to these stories, but this morning, I want to tell you one of my own stories about humility and healing and hope and health.

            The church I served right out of seminary was in a suburb that was more like a small town than a suburb, an odd and delightful thing in Houston, Texas.  While there were many elementary schools, three middle schools, and two high schools in the area, people knew one another through Little League, and baby-sitting co-ops, community organizations and churches. There was a local Fourth of July parade, a newspaper, and the ministerial alliance had several annual events together, including a large ecumenical youth event we called Cross Connections.

            The church had about 200 members and was pretty healthy at that time.  We had lots of programs and stayed really busy, at any rate, doing ‘churchy’ kinds of things.

            Then something happened in the neighborhood. It was discovered that a chemical plant had been dumping in a field not far from the church. Dumping what some believed was toxic material. I say it that way because only if you have been through the arguments, the reams of papers and reports from different scientists on different sides, can you begin to know how confusing all that data can be, and how it begins to seem a matter of choice and even faith: who is one going to trust?? And in the end, it didn’t really matter whether it had been toxic waste or not. What mattered was the perception. At any rate, it was determined to be a Superfund Cleanup sight. And seven hundred homes and an elementary school were bulldozed. The area went into an economic slump as businesses closed up and the area became very depressed. The debates prior to the decision had also taken their toll. Neighbors were at odds with one another; the small town feel was lost.

            The church lost about 125 members in a very short time. No new homes would be built for a very long time in that area. Frankly, as a congregation we were feeling like lepers. It was not easy to invite folks to come to a church just minutes from a superfund cleanup sight.

            Nothing in seminary really prepared me to be the leader in a situation like that. Ed Friedman once said that you could tell what we really worship in times of stress or trouble or need. And, being the good Presbyterian I am, I went to the bookstore. I read everything I could on how to grow the church. (Most successful church growth happens, by the way, in a neighborhood that is, itself, growing. I couldn’t find anything on the church and toxic waste sites, if you are looking for a subject about which to write.)

            In the meantime, I was diagnosed with a lung condition.

            At the doctor’s office they brought in a little contraption and said, very matter of factly, “and now we are going to test your level of inspiration.”

            Well. No pastor ever wants to have his or her level of inspiration tested and documented. We want it assumed. Not actually measured. And, given that it seemed to me at that point that I was a dreadful failure as a pastor, I really didn’t need a gauge to tell me how uninspired I was.

            What I discovered during that period before and after lung surgery changed my life.

            What I learned was that those connections between the Greek and Hebrew and English words, Pneuma, Ruach, Breath, Spirit, are all very real. They aren’t accidental.

            I learned that human beings need air to live, but that we cannot ‘take’ a breath, that each breath is a gift. We can only be open to it. We must be open to it. Inspiration, you see, is about how much we are able to receive. How open we are to accepting that gift of breath from God.

            We must make room, I discovered, to allow the wind, the air, the pneuma, Ruach, the Spirit, to come in, and give us life. That is what it means to be inspired. In-spirited. Filled with God’s  Spirit. Not ours. Not busyness. Not good works.  Breath.

            We must be open to receive God’s gifts.

            What changed for me when I had lung surgery is that I learned how to make room for God to move in my life. I learned how to slow down a little and be quiet and try to open myself to God’s moving in me. I learned how to pray. I learned how to study scripture in a meditative way. I keep needing to learn and relearn that, by the way. It is the most radical, counter cultural thing we can do.

            The church I served also learned how to pray. We were finally reduced to prayer, you could say. Reduced in numbers, but also as a good sauce is reduced – down to the very essence. The core. We were reduced to prayer. Gordon Cosby said, that God had reduced us to a size that God could actually use. My lung surgery had taken the hot air out of me, too. Had humbled me. Had reduced me to a size that God could use.

            I am getting the feeling that Mt. Auburn might have been reduced to a size God can use again. A manageable size for God to work with. I think Mt. Auburn may be ‘standing in the need of prayer,’ as the old spiritual intones.

            I think Mt. Auburn needs some healing time. Some regrouping time. Some rebuilding time. Some breathing space. Some nurture. Some rest. Some Sabbath. Some recovery, rejuvenation, recuperation.

            You have weathered a conflict that resulted in very painful split. A major body trauma.  I am trained in helping folks through church conflict, and believe me; the one you have been through would have done in many churches. But you endured. And you have carried on, nearly exhausting yourselves as you held things together.

            You’ve done it. You have survived, even thrived. But now, after being through what you have been through, please hear me: you need some time to nurture this body. To focus on self care before you continue on saving the world. I hear you anxious to do that. Yesterday I reminded someof you of the great ends of the church. Let me read those to you from the Book of Order of the Presbyterian Church, USA. “The great ends of the church are the proclamation of the gospel for the salvation of humankind; the shelter, nurture, and spiritual fellowship of the children of God; the maintenance of divine worship; the preservation of the truth, the promotion of social righteousness; and the exhibition of the Kin(g)-dom* of Heaven  to the world.” It’s a balanced vision for a healthy church.  I think  it is time for this church to focus on this part of the great ends of the church:” the shelter, nurture, and spiritual fellowship of the children of God.”

            It is important to rebuild our relationships as a community. With one another and with God.

            Relationships are like shelters, like homes. They take work. They take upkeep. They take time.

            I believe it is time for Mt. Auburn to focus on rebuilding spiritual relationships. Not for someone else, but for your own sakes. Spiritual self-care is okay, folks. Actually, it is necessary. I know you need permission to care for yourselves. You aren’t used to that. But here is your permission. More than permission: here is your prescription from Dr. Susan.

            I think it is time to pray. Together and apart. In whatever way that works for us.  I think if we want to be a church that is inspired and inspiring, we will learn ways to open our hearts to God.  I think it is time for the women’s spirituality group to get back together. I think it would be exciting for men to get together and explore masculine spirituality. Imagine for a moment the men of this church: different colors, different orientations, different gifts, different walks of life, different life circumstances, getting together to spend 20 to 30 minutes in silence and then following that with time for sharing deeply about their own faith journeys, their doubts, their struggles, risking being real with one another, not trying to change anyone’s mind, simply being willing to be with one another.

 I think couples can learn how to pray together if not already doing that. I think parents can pray with their children. Open. Listen. Breathe in and out God’s presence and love and care in our lives.

            I think it is time to do some Bible study. Don’t panic. I am not talking about forcing anyone to swallow anyone else’s doctrines whole. Indoctrination.  I am talking about a safe place to read those stories and ask heartfelt questions without being branded a heretic; I am talking about learning about our stories and learning about God’s relationship with humanity and learning about us. These stories can feed us. Can inspire us. We don’t need to dismiss them out of hand or be afraid of them. There is liberation in education.

            I think this beautiful building may be trying to tell us something, the way my body told me I needed to learn how to open to God.

            The sanctuary is lovely and we have an absolutely fabulous organ. All as it should be. The music program has fed this church through the hard times.

            And will continue to feed us.

            But the rest of the building is in a sad state of disrepair. It needs help from the ground up. The boiler needs to be replaced. These beautiful stained glass windows need care to continue feeding us with their beauty. It is right and good to be fed by beauty. God is a God of truth and beauty. These lovely things lift our spirits and call us to our best selves. It is okay to enjoy lovely things.,

            I know you want to save the world. I know you want to do great and wonderful things. Me, too. But I have learned that if we really want to do great and wonderful things, we will learn how to let God guide us.  We will be stewards of this building as we learn how to rebuild our relationship with our God. A God who longs to have that relationship with us.  We will care for this building as a way of staying connected and investing in this community.

            I shared at the leadership retreat a quote from Gordon Cosby that describes the church in a way I thought Mt. Auburn might enjoy.  Let me share it with you:

“The Transcendent, the Divine, the Effable,  the Beyond Reality is really deeply in love with us.  Always gently pressing, reaching, cajoling, teasing, wooing, seeking an opening in us. This longing to connect with us more deeply on God’s part never ceases. In fact, it is a passionate longing. God by his/her very nature knows that we are beloved because he/she created us as the Beloved and longs for this to be a mutually experienced reality. God whose love called us into being longs for us to respond. To know that love and to let that mutuality and connectedness between us deepen. And then the connection between us as the body of Christ deepen for all the days of our present life and throughout all eternity. God is love and only love. This constant longing on God’s part can be described as God’s calling us to hear and accept our Belovedness just so we can rest, we can be at ease, we can just delight in our belovedness in God’s presence. We are made in love to be loved, to accept our belovedness so that we can love freely and totally: this is our nature. God is calling us to open, to respond to our own true inner center  which is love. God longs for the totality of the globe, all the people on the globe and all of the creatures to know that love and so  God has begun to create a people who would hear,  . . . embody. ..    know that love and who would  be little oasis of reality scattered all around that world so that people could come into that love and could see it and we would be the ones with that deepened consciousness who would invite people into that love which is so desperately needed for those of us who are dead in our trespasses and sin; our cut-off-ness from the real realm of life .  . .. God does not want us to know God as principle; God wants us to know God; to know God as the Beloved and be in the community which is the Beloved.” (Preached at the Ecumenical Service of the Church of the Saviour in Washington, DC, Nov 2005)

            That is the vision I am holding for this church until God reveals a different one. I invite you to embrace that vision as well. Just for now. Unless you have a better idea, a truer vision.

            The power Jesus had, if you ask me, was rooted in knowing a God who loves us, who longs for us simply to know how much God loves us, and who wants us to live as beloved children of God.

            The monks at the Weston priory have a chant that says it all: “All I ask of you is forever to remember me as loving you.”

            The order, please see, is that we must, like the powerful commander, Naaman, and the nameless leper of Mark, find our healing first by naming that we need help. Find our healing by going to God. For Naaman, he finally found his way to the prophet of God. He was reduced .  For the leper in Mark, he found himself at the feet of Jesus.

            We need to learn how to step into the water or fall on our knees. We need to learn that is where real humanity is to be found. and real power. We need to find our healing in learning that taking time to pray, to be nurtured, to be fed through study of scripture is valuable and necessary if we are to be the beloved community. Do we think these lepers were selfish to seek healing? Or can we recognize that there is an order to these things?

             It is, at its heart a faith issue. It took Naaman a while and several folks nudging him to get to the point that he was willing to believe that healing could be found in such a silly, meaningless ritual.  The leper in Mark had nothing but faith. He didn’t have the courage to ask for healing, but he knew – he knew – that Jesus had the power to make him clean.

            Going to God in prayer is an act of faith. Studying scripture is an act of faith. Not faith in the scripture. I could not be comfortable being among a group of folks who worship scripture. (That idolatry has its own name: bibliolatry.) No, studying scripture with faith in God can open us and the texts to new and exciting awareness. I think most of us, like Naaman are still standing around saying things that Naaman might have said, “ Aren’t there lots of inspirational texts that are better than these ancient outdated texts of a warring patriarchy? Can I not immerse myself in them and be clean?” I’ve been there. I have resisited and I have heard the resistance of others.

            For Naaman, it had to be the Jordan. For Christians, if we want to get close to Jesus, it has to be the texts about Jesus, and the texts that fed and formed Jesus. We can come at them as critics and skeptics. I would expect nothing less.  We can study scripture without checking our brains at the door. We can bring our life experience and openness to the reading of the texts. But I think Christians need to know these texts.

            Some of us have been wounded by people wielding scripture as a weapon against us. We can redeem the situation by being open to scripture and its power to heal and reconcile relationships . (That’s what Jesus found in scripture.) Someof you may resist the idea of bible study because you don’t know anything about it. Let me say this to you: Blessed are you! Because you don’t have to go through the process of unlearning what someone else has told you the stories are about. And a blessing are you in any group that is doing bible study because you bring fresh eyes and a new perspective to these ancient stories.

            Like the boiler in the basement, and the wiring and the plumbing of this building, we need to know the stories for they are the foundation, the lifeblood of our faith. They are our memories. We need to know how our stories intersect with these stories.

            Prayer and scripture study and the other spiritual disciplines are faith issues. They require a smattering of faith to begin, but it is through those disciplines that our faith is nurtured.  It is hard to practice spiritual disciplines because we are addicted to busy-ness. And the disciplines seem pointless, not productive, a waste of time.  They are a waste of time. A holy waste of time. That, of course, is the point of any relationship. Relationships are about wasting time together. Spending time with one another. Being together. Just being. That is also how our spiritual relationships are. It is how we provide for the shelter, nurture, and spiritual fellowship of the children of God.

            How can we proclaim the liberating power of God if we don’t believe it ourselves? If we don’t think liberation can happen unless we are busy doing it?? How long can we feed a hungry world without feeding ourselves?

            I know it is not easy to say we need God. Need prayer. Need nurture in our faith.  I know it is humbling to admit we can’t do it all on our own.

             I didn’t like it either. I had to have lung surgery to let go of my practical atheism. By that I mean, I said I believed in God, but my actions were all about trusting in myself alone. I lived; I even ministered as if there was no God in charge.

            I think you are much more teachable than I was. I think you long for that healing touch of Christ in your overly scheduled lives and your great compassion for all God’s children. I think we are ready to take a dip, along with Naaman, and kneel at the feet of Jesus to receive the touch that will bring real healing. More than we may have dared ask.

            Let us join this soul in Mark and kneel and wait for the healing touch of Jesus.  Let us embrace his faith that says, ‘If you choose, you can make us whole.’

Let us embrace this chant as our mantra:

“All I ask of you is forever to remember me as loving you.”

`Let us breathe it in and out and be transformed into those who know we are beloved.

“All I ask of you is forever to remember me as loving you.”

“All I ask of you is forever to remember me as loving you.”

“All I ask of you is forever to remember me as loving you.”

*I prefer ‘Kin-dom of God’ or Realm of God to Kingdom of God.