One can, by listening to some Christians, get the impression that God made women and men, and the devil made sex.  To have God and sex in the same sentence is deemed inappropriate and/or base.  Sex permeates our culture, and is, after all, one of the drives and delights of human nature.  But there is also much misunderstanding and misuse of this GIFT OF GOD.  News reports lift up concerns of sexual abuse, rape, sexual discrimination, and aids the growing numbers of children born outside of marriage.

Television shows, such as Oprah, spend entire segments discussing what is right to teach our youth regarding sex.  Reports and studies are done regarding abortion, children and sex, extramarital sex, and even seniors and sex.  We get advice about when to have it, with whom, how often, and what is healthy and wholesome in our physical relationships.  Such advice varies from one extreme to another, depending on if you are listening to The Jerry Springer Show or the latest TV evangelist.

How then do we make sense of all this information, and how can we evaluate the differing cultural values.  What is the Christian to do?  Is sex simply the ultimate sales tool to market our products?  Is it the key ingredient for writers to interest us in their books, plays, movies, or songs?  Is sex the dirty business of life?  Sex is too often synonymous with guilt or wrongdoing.

But that is NOT the Christian perspective.  Here in the Book of Corinthians, Paul speaks of the BEAUTY OF SEX.  Oh, to be sure, sex can be ugly.  But in its nature, its very essence is BEAUTIFUL!  We will get to that.  First, we need to set sex in its proper context.  It’s much more than a physical activity!  It’s much richer than a night of recreation!

James B. Nelson, in his book, Embodiment – An Approach to  Sexuality and Christian Theology, states,

“Sexuality . . . expresses God’s intention that we find our authentic humanness in relationships.”

Somehow this gets lost in the car commercials or the sensational headlines of today’s culture.  Sex sells.  That which was designed for our wholeness (our authentic humanness) has been sold for our shallowness.  Nelson spells out five aspects of our sexuality, which helps us understand ourselves as sexual beings.

1.         INTIMACY – vulnerability, loving, liking, caring, risk taking.

2.         SENSUALITY – affirming our bodies as good.  Defining who we are as physical creatures.

3.         IDENTITY – enabling us to know our gender identity and its concomitant gender roles.  We also discover and accept our sexual orientation.

4.         RELATIONSHIP ISSUES – we discover our ability to influence and control others, manipulation, seduction, flirting.  We also experience the negative aspects through abuse, rape, incest, etc.

5.         REPRODUCTION – in this aspect of our sexuality we gain factual knowledge as well as feelings and attitudes regarding sustaining society.  It is also  informative  and  experiential of intercourse, and the resulting impact of our actions on our lives and the future of humankind.

These five aspects, intimacy, sensuality, identity, relational issues, and reproduction awareness all contribute to who we are as sexual beings according to Nelson.  They give us excellent starting points for discussions with our children.

In fact, our own denominational educational materials draw heavily from the above with the addition of a central element:  THE LOVE OF GOD.  God’s love is seen as integrating all five aspects of our sexuality.  It is the lifeblood of our entire being!  As parents we can assist our kids in developing positive attitudes about their bodies by challenging the perfect models promoted in our culture and affirming differences in others and ourselves.  Another way we can help out kids from positive sexual identities is through discussions  of physical bodies and its proper uses.  Our denominational materials are an excellent tool to help parents and youth leaders in this area.  The resource is called, God’s Gift of Sexuality:  a study for young people in the PCUSA.  This material is developed for various audiences including younger youth, older youth, parents and leaders.  There are separate materials for each group, complete with drawings and explanations.  As we talk to our kids about we have the opportunity to do so in the context of God’s gift to us.  Their physical development and spiritual growth are two  key  ingredients  to  their  healthy   sexual   identity.

Paul also places God at the very heart of our sexuality when he describes our relationship with Christ.  Here we see the incarnational nature of Christ.  He embodies the essence of the creator, and then Paul says,

“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ” 

WOW!!  What a concept!  Members of Christ!! Paul then goes on to liken our bodies to temples of the Holy Spirit.

Can you imagine what this was saying to the Jews of his day?  Temples . . . .!  We need to turn to the Hebrew Scriptures to get a sense of the splendid structure of the temple.  It was made of cedar imported just for this purpose.  Bronze and gold altars, gold doors, all carefully crafted to specific measurements.  It as a sanctuary.  A special place with deep meaning for the people of God.  As the Chronicles passage indicates – it’s a place where God dwelt.  This unique residence of the Most High God holds special significance today in giving the Jews their identity.  That is what Paul calls our bodies:  TEMPLES OF GOD.  This is another way in which we God in Us.  Just as the temple was the location of the Holy of Holies, so our bodies are the special dwelling place of the Holy Spirit.  Our bodies don’t belong to us anymore than the temple did to the Hebrews.  It is God’s House, God’s residence.  What a beautiful description of our bodies!  God radically redefines or defines true beauty.

So . . . if it’s so beautiful, why do we have so much trouble with it?  Why is sex more often paired with sin than with sanctuary?  Like all other gifts from God, we misuse the gift of sex.  When it becomes self-serving, or a tool of control, it ceases to serve our enrichment.  We have all experienced or know of someone who has experienced the negative aspects of sex.  What's more, we have all failed in some way to live out the beauty of sex.  We dare not claim perfection or sinlessness in the use of this gift.  For example, even in one area or our sexuality, IDENTITY, we easily fall prey to imperfection.  As children and youth, we experiment in various ways in trying to discover who we are.  It may be in developing friendships, and misusing that friendship.  It may be in dating or in flirting when we take advantage of another in examining our own bodies and the bodies of another.   We can discover the beauty of intimate social relationships and the splendor of verbal intercourse.  In all these areas, we grow in our understanding of what is healthy and authentic, versus that which is destructive and demeaning.  And sometimes, we make wrong decisions.  Sometimes we, like the temple, need cleansing of Jesus the Christ.  We may need to seek forgiveness and healing in our relationships.  We need to own our failures, our sin.  Then we can reclaim our commitment to God’s intent for us to enjoy the beauty of sex!

When we own that we have sometimes made sex ugly, then we can experience the marvelous Grace of God.  Guilt can be gone, and Grace replaces it.  To know that we are loved, even when we have failed, is indeed the gift of God – GRACE!

God’s Word is clear that full intimacy is appropriate in the context of a total commitment to the other.  While some in our culture treat sexual intercourse as a recreational activity on a part with other social behaviors, we have come to see that one can not experience the richness of physical sex apart from the profoundness of a committed relationship.  To be sure, one can have a momentary high, without ever knowing the wonder of entrusting their whole being to another.  Christian marriage and committed relationships are God’s gift of a mutual and lasting promise to live out of God’s constant and abiding love.

Paul then challenges us with something that is very foreign to our thinking.  Therefore glorify God in your bodies!  Do we ever look at our sex life through those glasses?  We ARE able to reflect the glory of our God as we express God’s intention that we find our authentic humanness in relationships.  As parents, and as adults claiming our own sexuality, this challenge gives us a good reminder that we teach our youth (and practice ourselves) the wisdom that body shouldn’t get ahead of the spirit.  That is, we should avoid having physical experiences that we are not emotionally, spiritually ready to handle.  But we can point out to our kids that there will be a time in which commitments to God and to one another will flow together in beautiful harmony. How refreshing and beautiful that sounds!  We are created in and for the purpose of enjoying the image of God in us.  Or as Paul states it:

“Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit within you . . . therefore glorify God in your body!”

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.  (Romans 12:1)

THANKS BE TO GOD!