What accounts for the change in the disciples from pre-Pentecost to post-Pentecost?  It is not unusual to see a sudden change in someone.  Sometimes it’s a matter that they finally “get it.”  Or it is a situation that “something clicks” and what was lackluster now becomes remarkable.

I had such an experience in high school.  I was what educators call “a late bloomer.”  All of a sudden I moved from being a C- student to an A- student.  We see this in sports as well.  A team may be average or below average (I still have hopes for the Reds!), and then it jells, and they put it all together for a winning record.

The disciples, following Jesus death, spent their time in unremarkable ways.  They went back to their fishing boats and they frequently met together, but not much was happening.  I imagine they were hoping things would work out.  But fear was certainly their companion.  They appear aimless, unstructured and leaderless.  What would the future hold for them?

The disciples were in a sinking boat.  Their lives were threatened as their leader had been tried and put to death.  They were all huddled inside a house, perhaps wondering what was to happen to them.  They may be the next to be arrested.  While they had met the risen Lord, there is no evidence that they were making that well known.  All was quiet until the day of Pentecost.  It would seem that they then moved for hopelessness to hope.  But I would like to make a case that they moved   from   hope   to   hopelessness.   Vaclav  Havel makes the point that hope is an orientation of the heart; it transcends the world that is immediately experienced and is anchored somewhere beyond its horizons.  He goes on to distinguish it from joy which is a feeling that things are gong to work out or a willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously headed for early success.  Hope, however, is an ability to work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance to succeed.

This focus, Margaret Wheatley says, is a description not of hope, but hopelessness.  Being liberated from results, giving up outcomes, doing what feels right rather than effective.  Margaret goes on to point out the Buddhist teaching that hopelessness is not the opposite of hope.  Fear is.  Hope and fear are inseparable because any time we hope for a certain outcome, we introduce the fear that it may not happen.  The fear of failing, the fear of loss. 

The disciples respond to the gift of the Spirit with a sense of hopelessness.  That is, they began to proclaim the good news of the gospel without fear.  They began to heal in Jesus’ name and gave no thought of the outcome.  They were accused of being drunks.  They were arrested for healing and teaching and put in prison.  And eventually, tradition has it that many of them became martyrs.  They didn’t become slaves to results, living in fear of what people might say.  They may have been perceived as radicals or fundamentalists but that didn’t matter.

Peter’s speech reminded all present that God’s Spirit equips young and old, men and women to declare God’s interest in humanity.  And the marvelous wonder  that  God  has  embraced  all  of  us no matter what our condition may be.  This awareness of God’s grace frees us from the tyranny of results.  We are free from the need to be perfect or to do it “right.”  Hopelessness allows us to focus on the value of what we do, not the result.  We can put ourselves into a cause and effort not because it’s going to succeed, but because it is worth doing.  It is the right thing to do. 

Now it would be wonderful if we could simply say that when we open to the Spirit then we all are in agreement regarding what is of value and that all who call themselves Christian are about truth and rightness.  But you and I both know the reality of that!!  But we must escape the pride of claiming that we and we only have the truth.  Peter in his speech also warns us that not everything will be peaceful.  He says that in that day there will be (and I quote) blood, fire and smoky mist.  The sun shall be turned to darkness and the moon to blood…. 

We tend to think of Pentecost as a day of joy and celebration.  One church I served always had a Dixieland band play. It was a time of new life and a focus on the birth of the church.  Many churches today will be partying in one way or another.  But the message at that first Pentecost must have been a scary one!  Doom and gloom seemed to be the message for the day.  Could it be that we are to remember that just when things look the bleakest, the Spirit comes.  When we finally try everything we know and don’t get the results we want, then it is that the Spirit is able to move in.  I have found that when we are the most confident of what we are about that, we often get in the way.  It is so easy to see this in others.

I can see so clearly how the fundamentalists are so sure of their interpretation of scripture that they have gotten in the way of God being able to speak.  I, on the other hand, can’t imagine that my interpretation is anything but what God is saying.  Humility is hard to come by when attempting to be a prophet!  There is no easy solution to that problem.  The sun may turn to darkness for us; the moon may appear blood red.

We in this congregation are agenda people.  We have an outcome that unites us and drives us.  It is not only the ordination question.  That is part of it.  But it is broader than that.  It encompasses a way of life, a perspective that is at odds with many sisters and brothers in the faith.  In fact, a viewpoint that is often not understood, but characterized in word bites and unfavorable caricatures.  To be a progressive congregation in a denomination of mainliners is not easy.  But there is a danger in being an agenda people.  We can focus on the outcome and hope that our point of view will eventually rule the day.  If we become preoccupied with the result we run in danger of living in fear.  Fear that things wouldn’t turn out the way we want.  Fear can lead to discouragement and desertion of the cause.  The disciples at Pentecost became people who were hopeless.  That is, they did not hope their work would bring about the right results, but they focused on the worthiness of that work.  They learned that the results were up to God.  Their task was not to be successful, but to be faithful.

Jan Mehlhoff tells the story of Xena, Warrior Princess that she watches from time to time.  In one episode Xena and others were trapped in a boat and forced to create breathing bags out of wineskins in order to have sufficient air to reach the surface.

(I quote)  One of the people in the boat was a man who attempted to kill Xena and her friends.  On the way to the surface, he dropped his breathing bag.  He swam toward Xena to take her breathing bag from her.  He could not wrestle it from her, and she continued to swim toward the surface while he sank to the bottom.

Then, in a moment of compassion, she turned around, swam to him and shared the air with him as they both came to the surface.  On the beach, exhausted from the swim and the struggle, he turned to his enemy.  “You know who I am.  Why, after all I have done to you, did you help me?”

She replied, “I had no choice.  I didn’t do it because of who you are.  I did it because of who I am.”

We may, like Xena, encounter those who wish us gone.  We may encounter those who want to deny our right to existence or our right to be different.  There may be legislation against us.  There may be attempts to discredit us.  But our response is to be true to who we are.  We are not to respond to them according to who they are, but according to who we are.  I wonder what our breathing bag might be?  What is it that we need to share with those who would have us gone?  What is it that would give them life?  It would be so much easier if they would simply sink to the bottom and get out of our way.  But we can’t allow that to happen, not because of who they are, but because of who we are.  We need for them to stay alive.  We need each other more than we need a certain  outcome.   Can  we  trust God with the outcome if we provide the breathing bags?  And the Spirit breathed into them the breath of life.